Thursday, February 5, 2015

When is enough, enough?

There it is again.

That crushing sense of inadequacy, wrought by an inherently self oppressive nature.

I realize that most of the pressure I feel is self-imposed because I build on top of my heart, while loving from the bottom of it.  I stack heavy expectations, structured with the weak support of unreasonable standards.  It's hard to know if you're enough, or if what you're doing is enough.

But exactly, when is enough, enough?

After mulling it over today, I'm beginning to understand that "enough" in itself is somewhat of a vague and variable standard, so it can't really be measured as a way to determine success.  I suppose that it has to start from within—if you don't ever think that you're enough, then you'll never know what is, even if someone tells you.  Like happiness, maybe success is a journey, rather than a destination.
"And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good."
-John Steinbeck

I can't go to sleep tonight
Because the thought of darkness makes me feel alive
And I can't find a way to dream
When I'm thinking about every single thing
I think I'll be happier if I turn my brain off
Until the morning stirs
I think I will find a day
When all this noise will help me sink away

My mind is running away with my sleep tonight
My mind is running away with my sleep tonight

Let's get out of our minds today
And take a little time to look at the stars and the moon above
Wishing someone like you
Was staring at them too

I can see my shadowed mirrors
Reflecting all my deepest darkest fears
I think home will fix this mess
A bed of my own makes it worth the stress.

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